I had a dream, last night, and in it God told me to confess to one of the things, which I did, that I have always regretted. There was this girl named Tiffany that I sat beside in 5th grade, in Mrs. Smoakes class, that I was completely infatuated with. As far as I was concerned, the sun would rise and set because she willed it too. She was beautiful. So beautiful in fact that she was intimidating to approach.
Day after day I would daydream of us holding hands and kissing, until I could no longer bear my inability to act; I had to do something. So, I began to leave notes/messages in her locker. Poems, puzzles, word games, I was very creative, so she was impressed and looked forward to my notes. In one of the notes I even told her that my first name had 7 letters(knowing that she would assume the letters were from Matthew, a very popular guy in our class, and she did; I was there when she confronted him); I thought that I was so smart.
She eventually figured out that it was me and confronted me about my actions(the letters and notes); however, I couldn't be honest, I couldn't admit that I loved her. I was afraid what people would think because she was of another race and that mattered at the time. She even tried holding my hand just like I wanted; however, I pushed her away and denied my feelings. She eventually gave up on me, on us.
I saw her a few times over the years and always wanted to confess to her, confess my feelings to her, however it all seemed to be, too little too late. I am only confessing now because God told me to confess, but I know somehow that Tiffany will read this message; these things have a way of getting out.
It is because of this ordeal that I learned that honest is the best policy. And so, you know my deep, dark secret, the one I was ashamed of. What are you ashamed of? Leave me a message in the comments...
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Saturday, April 29, 2023
My True Confession
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